The First Sight


Rain, it was showering. The drops fell from heaven as if the Gods were pouring their tears down to the Earth and the thunder was the moaning soul. The atmosphere around was as if the devils have conquered and despondence was the only thing around. Darkness was it all left; Dark beyond dark, dark as if it was all you could see. The silence around meant fear of the dictator.

All of a sudden I felt something for the first time; it was different or rather strange as the sun shone her rays and the devils burnt down. The tears turned into soothing pearls of heaven and the darkness couldn’t stand against the photons of  faith. I could hear Beethoven playing in the voice of rain.

There was she when I saw her the first time, an angel unfolding her wings. The only miracle I saw through my eyes. I saw her eyes, blue were those with oceans trapped, a myriad depthless ocean of emotions was born inside me. Her hair as if the musicians were playing the violin, the melodies made my heart skip a beat. A smile she passed away fused with the softness and serenity of her lips made my heart rhythm with that of hers; evaporating the tenderness of hatred. She was still smiling or was it me that every expression of hers seemed to me as a heavenly smile. Everything was still, I knew the space and time coalesced as a conspiracy against me. That was when I saw her the first time, a mere corpse finds his soul.

She lifted her wrist to look at the time but little did she knew she was timeless. She turned away and started fading from my vision. I lifted my arm trying to stop her so the demons inside me would never find me. I opened my mouth but not a single word came out; I choked.

Was it the monster inside me which wanted to stay away from the holy water or was it the aura of the Queen  which left me tongue-tied?

More in Fallen Angel series    next 〉 


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Remember, Remember the 25th of May

Remember, Remember the 25th of May
Don’t turn blind despite what they say
Guns, Tyranny and Squat
I see no reason why this tyranny
Should ever be forgot

George Floyd, George Floyd ’twas his name.
A 20$ forged bill they claimed
Minutes! they squat on his neck
“I can’t breathe” last words he said
Troops, riots and streets painted with murder
While the coward hid in the bunker
Silence a voice in night, millions me
O fools! through darkness we see


What’s true what’s illusion
Lot of variables into consideration
Have I lost it? Barely holdin it
Is it medication?
Snared inside
pandemonium of emotions
This is real me or is it that?
Or neither is this that version
Are those emotions mine?
Or planted into my head
with recurring theme
played on a loop a thousand times
Wait or is it millions?
Which day is it? is it saturday
Or monday?
Mayday! Mayday!
Got a never ending case of monday blues
need a break, a truce

About Last Night

And when I gaze in her eyes
Dwelling stars and galaxies
Only if she saw what I see
two stars in a constellation
With hearts twinkling in rhymes
she blinks and the clock stops ticking
the space of my heart bends within
Her hair the tranquil ocean
Beyond black in the night
She moves and the ripples of emotion
serene as the moonlight shining white
Her skin like night meets the Sun
Dripping like the sunrise
while the days dawn like her colour
The Sun feels her glare and feels smaller
And when the nights again bleed upon this city
She smiles radiating sunshine
Can I be yours beyond eternity?
Will you be forever mine?

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To You : A note

Hey remember our first date you were 20 minutes late and I was sitting on the steps well the guard asked me to “Don’t sit” and then you came we both were on the phone confused asking where are you although we were both just some metres apart and now you are never even apart from me.  We both are so awkard,.bunch of weirdos really Oh! have I told you I have seen three rainbows vibrant radiant colours one above another  I thought it was the best nature could be untill I saw you that day I was like “damn she is beautiful” ; not kidding that’s what I said in my mind. I walked towards you I was little conscious about my walking style and hugged you from the side and complemented you. And you gave one back. Oh damn! the amount of times I had to remind myself that I have to complement her, I usually don’t complement people.
So we went towards the cafe, damn those songs sucked really. I was really still like damn she is beautiful and was still awe in your beauty . You know when you sit by train’s window listening to songs with earphones plugged in, you see a scenic view and hope that you were there close to see it, feel it very moment. That’s what I felt sitting opposite to you so I asked you can I sit beside you? And from that day you have been beside me and I want you beside me till eternity. Let me love you a little bit further than eternity.
You know when it rains, I really love to extend my hand to feel drizzles it’s so serene. When we left the cafe, I held your hand it felt like all the drizzles I have felt at the same time.
Damn why do you keep attracting those roses and flowers ah it’s the first time I have seen roses approaching a butterfly. Maybe I should have gifted you a rose but you know those roses would have die of shame in front of your beauty and your fragrance; oh about that I always try to smell your hair I am addicted to that smell. You were my first kiss and I still can feel it on my lips. So can these lips be the only one I taste for the rest of my life?

Hey I’m in love with you; no not like love you but I love love you. I never knew this would happen but here I am listening to songs that remind me of you, remind me of your smile and the way you close your eyes when you laugh. I read somewhere like that with the right person love isn’t like a tornado of emotions but like a tranquil ocean with soothing warmth of sunshine of emotions. It’s so always calm around you and the time just stops when I look into your eyes. Was it fate? was it destiny? Maybe it’s a little bit further more than destiny maybe beyond destiny. To be honest I don’t really know what love is, I know it isn’t like the poets paint it; full of metaphors and similes in praise of their lovers but maybe not even they can describe what they feel. I can write poems for you, stories for you or lines for you but still it won’t be same as what I feel and what you mean to me. Maybe these words don’t really mean anything and are insignificant in this vast cosmos, maybe everything is insignificant but one thing for sure I know that in this pale blue dot you are one of the most significant one to me. Some say God made this universe and everyone has a purpose; on the contrary some say life has no purpose but I don’t really know  but looks like I found mine in this all chaos. You increase my oxytocin as well as dopamine and serotonin Ahm but you know the depth of my love lies deeper than the ocean of emotions far above the stars and even beyond nature of reality. Chocolate you are beyond time, beyond space and beyond the laws of universe. Will you be my universe?


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Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned

Forgive me father for I have sinned
“What brings you here my son”
I want to confess, Some-
Hesitated a little he spoke
Someone I loved I have killed
Someone I admired
Someone who looked for the path
in the darkest of woods but
I have forgotten him in the woods
I searched for his flaws, frustrated I was
He screamed when I took a knife an-
He paused and there was a crack in his voice
and made scars on his face
trying to carve him as
as an image they praised
Stench of regret diffused in air
as he continued with his tale
All those voices, all those comments
left me paranoid made me a monster
A monster which committed sins
and there can be no amends
Forgive me father for I have sinned
Someone I loved I have killed
I have killed my soul

As he spoke accepting the way he was
Fireflies all around flickered
He heard his heart beating
There was it, there it was
His soul smiling as greeting

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My Muse

Setting sun stains everything orange
(She shines brighter than the Sun)
It sparkles crimson red just like her
Her voice her murmur
She speaks silence with her words
But there lies an ocean in her curls
Under the quietness of her skin
there are tales left untravelled
Iridescence as she is
Colours of her eyes waiting to be unravelled
A glimmer in her eyes like a trance
An angel without wings
Believe me its no extravagance
Her innocence singing symphonies
Her voice epitome of epiphanies
Like sugar melting into dark coffee
Her aura serene as she is
Setting the caged pigeons free
She is my muse don’t ask me “why?”
There is tranquillity around her with
fireworks throwing radiance in the sky

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In My Head

In my head
I see ruins, no more wars
Just a child crying
Searching for his mother
Sick of trying
I see bullet holes, is it peace?
Just sadness
River of blood all-around
Such madness
(In my head)
I hear silence, no more screams
Corpses all around
No more life
Such violence

(The Sun sets, the child searches
for a darker place to hide)
In my head
I see a black sky, no stars
Just the moon crying
rain washes all the blood
But the stains remain
Sick of trying
(The child is sick of trying)
Sick of trying
Sick of trying

inspired by song Zombie (originally by Cranberries)

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Break These Locks

Break these locks
Free me from this cage
to feel the sunrays
unchained from this rage
The words I never utter
’cause I don’t need you sympathy
I have seen the hell
It just lies inside me

Trying to look through the window
I see grey sky devoid of stars
Raise the white flag
And end these wars
The world I perceive
full of pain and lie
Broken wings shattered dreams
But still trying to fly

They say “cheer up
its all inside your head”
But what they don’t see
My life has turned red
painted with blood
Drowning in the flood
I need a hand, a savior
to taste life’s flavour

Am I losing my sanity?
Don’t think I am crazy
just trying to decipher it
’cause the world got hazy
Playing between the lines
I want to throw in the towel
No! I can last one more round
That’s what my life is

The nothingness inside of me
Gets heavy every minute
engulfing me as it becomes free
Darkness is where I found it
Nightmares crushing my dreams
trapping my soul in a maze
Break these locks
Free me from this cage

image source: Someone special who has forgot that there is still paint on her brush and flare in her eyes. Pick up those lying pencils ’cause it needs you.

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“Pain and suffering aren’t a curse”
He said looking into her eyes
As he held her hand she replied
“How do you know my smile
and words all were lies?”
There was a pause in the cosmos
’cause his words were more important
than space and time
He uttered while wiping her tears
“You see without darkness there is no light
I too cried and screamed
when I faced all the fears
as I saw my dreams turn into nightmares”
A cool breeze whooshed in between them
and blew her hair
He wrapped his arms around her
and she felt his warmth
“What have you seen that made you
see the battle and put it forth?
What have you heard that
made you hear those silent cries?”
“My love pain and suffering aren’t a curse”
He said looking into her eyes

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I still remember the day
The day I saw her smiling
as she walked down the aisle
in a white dress, an angel
etching the colours of rainbow
in the aroma of white snow
Amidst the voice of piano
her curls hanging on sides
played a distinct symphony;
a symphony of dancing dreams
A glare in her blue eyes
looked at the future
as tides look at the moon
while searching for paradise
Her fragrance that of roses
drenched with promises
painted a picture of hope as
deeply crimson autumn leaves fell
waiting for spring to blossom

“Splash” A teardrop from
my eye hits the tile
when I saw her smile
I still remember the day
The day she walked past me
to be in someone’s arms forever
I last time I saw her

“She was every colour in the rainbow for me but without her it’s all dark”

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